Tuesday, 21 April 2009

What to say?

What to say......it seems to come so naturally to some, yet others struggle over the simpliest of things. I wouldn't say that i'm good at saying whats on my mind, except when it's to help a friend. But when it comes to someting very close to your heart, commonsense seems to abandon me and i'm left there, an emotional wreak. Pathetic!

Oh to say what i want to say, to explain my intentions and more important my feelings. Feelings, people who know me would tell you that they haven't seen my inner feelings before, outward appearences for me are a bloomiing mask. A mask that i wear to protect myself from what others my say and think. Again, it's pathetic.

When someone os close to you, you explore your emotions to find the relationship boundaries, once found the relationship can be sustained. These boundaries are what is causing the inner war i have going on in my mind. I have yet to find the definate boundaries between the one that i may love. Until then i can't tell for sure on anything, can't speak what is on my mind and once again it's PATHETIC!!

So what am i suppose to do? I'm afraid to say what i want to say. And that is that i may have found my first love. Whether or not it's true love or just a fling is trival, i can say i have never felt like this for anyone EVER! So what do i do, do i risk the friendship that i adore to state my true feelings for him or do i carry on wearing my mask, half hoping that he'll see through it........

xXRainbowXx

1 comment:

  1. you told him. that's at least a first step, a small step for mankind, but a big step for you. You were willing to come out of your comfort zone, a scary thing for most people.

    I'm proud of you.

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